I need to pick your brains

HI all,

I think I am safe to say we all have the same journals we are reading and from what I can tell we are all in sync with eachothers minds and hearts 🙂

I am going to ask you a deep question right now and I would like to have everyones opinion of what I am going to write here.

Remember when I was in Egypt I was reading Dr Phils book, "SELF MATTERS"?

Well this book said that you must do what makes YOU happy and not just do things for others or what makes them happy.

I am a bit confused or maybe I am not understanding it correctly.

Part of my timeing for coming back to USA was for work since I work in an INN and the busy season is now here I came back in MAY.

My nephews graduation is in June < from college> and he is the first in the family to complete college and it's a big deal believe me 🙂

I am going to Maryland for this and also the Cirque Del Sole' spelling might be off a bit but we are all going to this show after his graduation like to celebrate his accomplishments with his friends as well and my 2 sisters and myself.

I put in for vacation from work < not paid vac> for June 3 to the 14 due to my older sister who always throws a wrench into the works of things to drive her back to North Carolina.

I just learned nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww her ride canceled and she has been MIA now with no repsonse in if she is going.

My nephew was so happy to learn his 2 aunts and his mother would be all together for the first time in years and now she does this to all of us, leaving us in limbo.

Then I find out my sister whom I am living with right now wanted to go to NC anyway to find out about the location SHE MIGHT MOVE TO and wanted me to attend the ride along putting her in debt and also she gets paid vacation time where as I don't.

I don't want her to drive to NC alone and yet I don't want to lose work as they have to hire someone to fill in for me and this person will be on the schedule when I get back and will cut into my hours and will make me lose more money in the long run and not having a car I will be stuck with less work and no way to buy a car.

I know I am rambling on but what I need to know is …….. do I go to NC to help my sister even tho I don't want to or do I just go to MD for my nephew and then come back and go back to work???

I don't want to be selfish even tho I think my sister the one I am living with IS TOWARDS ME .. She knew for months she was planning on going to NC to scout out a town to move to and only laid it on me LAST NIGHT.

I am tried of being used and abused due to the situation I am in … the mercy of others.

Sorry to sound off and not being my old gentle soul.

I am asking for your opinions good or bad.

Thank you all ,


8 thoughts on “I need to pick your brains

  1. You should do what is right for you.. and will satisfy your family responsibilities. Going to bed with peace of mind is a good thing.

    If i got this straight.. you said you would drive sister #1 to NC. Sister # 2 is going anyway.. You are attending the graduation.. in Maryland. If you dont have a car how were you driving sister #1? How would you have gotten there in the first place?

    Your selfish sister who you are living with opened her home to you… Not so selfish…

    Good luck to you..

    I would just get together with them and hash it out. See what works for everyone. Voice your concerns and see what happens. They might not realize how you feel.

    It's frustrating to try to make plans and people keep changing the schedule.. hang in there.. Family is worth it.

  2. HI Q

    I was thinking this way but felt I was selfish in my thinking thats why I am asking for everyones advice 😦

  3. HI Briar,

    I have been trying to get this straight with my sister the one I live with and she keeps being quiet about it.

    IN fact I can't even find out what we will do in NC when we do go there and why??? its because of my older sister she puts her needs in front of everyone esles this is why I try to stay away from that sister. she is a control freak and if things aren't her way they are NO WAY.

    I was trying to find out last night when she told me the truth about her reasons why she wants to go to NC anyway not just to drive the other sister back.

    I know she isn't selfish but she is hiding the real reason and manipulating me in going for the ride so to say and I don't really want her to go alone.

    I always pay her rent too when I am here for the summer months and its a win win situation for her she has a big apartment and last year I paid her over 3,000 in rent plus did all the cleaning and cooking and even buying the foods I cooked for her and I.

    I am not selfish either but there comes a time to say enough is enough.

    She is controling me buying a car now. She won't take me to check out any cars since she knows I won't have the money for vacation if I buy a car NOW.

    I am tired of being honest and having those close to me take advantage of it.


  4. Your nephew should be #1. He only graduates from college once, unless he decides to continue his education. But this one will be the best one becuase it is the first one.

    And a chance to see Cirque de Soleil? Fantastic! That would certainly make me happy!


  5. Hi Eve,

    It sounds awfully frustrating.. I have several sisters myself.. ugh.. as much as you love each other it can be trying.

    Go to the graduation..enjoy Cirque.. they are fantastic. Be proud of your nephew and then do what is good for you. You live up to your responsibilities and once in awhile you need to step back and take care of yourself.

    take care
    ~ Briar~

  6. HI Briar,

    My nephew grad is the most important thing to me and my sister, his mom,

    I just got off the phone with the number 1 B. she told me now she isnt attending my nephews graduation due to her having no ride. GRRR

  7. HI K,

    Yes he is #1 in my book and it sickens me that this sister of mine canceled on him due to her being lazy not to fly or take a train.

    I have no room for control freaks any longer and this lady is certainly one of them.

    R < nephew > was so happy to know all 3 sisters would be together again and at our age it will prob be the last time due to geographic reasons.

    I will do what I can to make my nephew happy as we get along so well and have so much fun .

    Thank you all for your postings and support.


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