I once had a muse,
well at the time I didn't realize he was my muse
and yet at the same time ..
I was his,
We didn't see each other online very often,
so our relationship was basically through emails.
Until it evolved into a real relationship, in the flesh.
I love writing emails on stationery and I have found
and was given some really beautiful and sensual ones.
Of course I used both.
I found thru my writings to my Muse,
I became to know and understand myself for the first time in my life.
I loved the person I saw,
I was so happy to know what I was capable of and feeling.
I lost my Muse over 5 years ago and I feel so bad now.
I feel when I say certain words or phrases I have already said but to him,
they are meaningless now to me as I was insprired by him.
I printed out every email that I wrote and that he wrote in full color,
I was going to make a book and copy it
for my grand children to see the inside of my heart
since they don't know me as they should.
I became tormented by seeing them and reading them over and over
and decided I couldn't move forward in my life
as long as I had them, so I destroyed them all.
I don't have any copies in the pc or on disc,
no more history saved for the future legacy of me.
I found those words or feelings were there ..
because of … him.
So I am now looking for a new Muse.
It might be selfish of me, I really don't know.
Muse wanted …
apply thru email.
Thanks for reading.